Absence Of Fear - Part Two

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Absence Of Fear - Part Two

By: Felicity

E-MAIL: felicity@SunnydaleHigh.zzn.com
SUMMARY: There's a new face in Sunnydale... Jewel Kaufman! Oh, and Spike gets his soul back.
DIST/ARCHIVE: Ask first
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters except Jewel (and I don't really own her 'cause she's her own person and therefore owns herself...but the WB and Joss Whedon and all definitely don't own her! btw, they're the ones that own the other people)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This takes place in early August and it pretty much goes with the show up through Graduation 2, but not exactly, there's one big difference I'm not gonna say cause most people haven't seen it yet, and I don't think there are any real spoilers. Anyway, besides that, the song "Losing My Light" is © Jewel Kaufman and Felicity Rose. "Absence of Fear" is by Jewel (not the one in the story, the other one) and "Sometimes" is by Britney Spears. Besides that, I love comments! I hope this isn't too long! Oh, and it's all dedicated to the real Jewel whom I love a ton, and I definitely would never have gotten this finished if it wasn't for her (not to mention not even writing it...)

"So you’re suggesting…what, exactly?" Buffy inquired into the phone. She pulled herself up onto the counter in Giles’ office, watching the group out in the library. Jewel was describing something animatedly to the rest of the group. Buffy liked her. As much as Buffy was really thinking about liking anyway. This was not a good night.

"Be careful above all," Giles said. Buffy sighed. Giles had been freaky-cautious since the Ascension. Not that she could blame him.

"Well, I kinda figured that," Buffy said patiently. "What else? We didn’t have a whole lot of luck with Spike the other times he came here."

"Do you know why he’s returning?" Giles inquired.

"Make that a no. I’m guessing he missed me? Or maybe it’s the whole homesick thing, one can never be around the Hellmouth too much," she quipped. There was a pause and she could just see the look he was giving her. "Okay, okay, really, I have no idea. I was hoping you could help in that department. Hey, how is it that you’re always gone when Spike comes to town? Is this a conspiracy?"

"Buffy," Giles sighed in a scolding tone. She winced.

"Okay, I’m sorry, this has just been a weird night. So, Giles, infinite wisdom, tell me what to do."

"I don’t know," Giles admitted.

"Wow, that’s gotta be a first. Well, a first that you admitted it anyway. I wish I had a tape recorder! Would you mind repeating that for me when you get home?" There was a pause. "Sorry! My bad! So, you don’t know?"

"It depends on Spike. If he’s here on another of his lovesick jaunts and he plans to leave momentarily, there doesn’t seem a need for…extreme measures."

"Drusilla’s with him, did I forget to mention that?" Buffy asked. The silence told her she had. "Sorry!"

"Well, that points to perhaps taking up residence again. In which case extreme measures might be more…plausible," Giles sighed.

"Extreme measures. Those would be what exactly?" Buffy asked.

"Why don’t you all discuss it, do some research. I’m sure you can come up with something," Giles said. Buffy frowned, then got it.

"Oh! You want to be left alone!" she exclaimed.

"Well, I was rather hoping to enjoy my retreat, though of course if you need me, I—"

"No, " Buffy said quickly. "No. You go ahead and get down, you funky party weasel! We’ll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Giles asked in a worried tone.

"Totally. We’re great, peachy, all that good stuff. Bye now!" Before he could reply, she hung up and smiled slightly as she hopped down and walked out into the rest of the library.

"Well?" Oz asked.

"Nothing," she sighed. "I realized halfway into the conversation that Giles really wanted to be left alone, so I told him to enjoy himself. We’ll be fine. We’ve handled Spike before."

"And almost died!" Xander exclaimed. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"This time we’ll be prepared, silly," she said. "We need plans. Lots of plans. What would stop Spike?" She looked around at the gathered Scooby Gang—well, the part that was there, anyway.

"Excuse me?" Jewel asked, raising her hand slightly. "Who’s Spike?"

"Vampire," Buffy replied shortly. "English, has this Billy Idol thing going on."

"And he’s coming here?" Jewel asked. "How is this different from any of the vampires that are already here?"

"Drusilla?" Jewel asked uncertainly.

"Good guess," Buffy laughed. Jewel flashed her a bright smile.

"I pick things up," she replied.

"Dru’s just a couple rungs short of a ladder," Xander drawled.

"A few ants short of a picnic," Willow put in cheerfully.

"Some major steps short of a staircase," Buffy said dryly.

"A couple cats short of a litter," Xander said.

"A few lightbulbs short of a chandelier," Willow added.

"About three miles short of a hundred meter dash."

"A couple of chips short of a computer."

"Several twinkies short of a snack."

"A few slices short of a pizza."

"A couple notes short of a chord," Oz put in. Jewel smiled slightly, amazed, looking from one to the other then back again.

"A few dishes short of a meal," Xander said.

"A little seasoning short of a dish," Willow added.

"A coupl–" Xander began, but Buffy cut him off suddenly.

"I think she gets the picture," she said firmly.

"But I had a really good one!" he exclaimed. Jewel laughed and patted his arm.

"You can tell me later," she promised. He grinned, happy again.

"What about the curse?" Willow said suddenly. They all turned to look at her. Buffy frowned.

"What about the curse? Which curse?"

"Angel’s curse," Willow replied. "I could cast it. I know I could. I did it before. And it’s not Angel-specific, it’s kind of any vampire. And then he’d be non-killing, and good besides."

"The idea does have merit," Xander murmured. Buffy eyed him with shock.

"We’re discussing Spike here! The guy that kidnapped you and Will ‘cause his girlfriend’s a ‘ho!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Well we did it for Angel, the guy that broke Ms. Calendar’s neck," Xander said sharply. Buffy went white. Jewel took a deep breath. One more twist to the problem. This Angel, the one Buffy loved…was a vampire. Wow. There was silence in the library.

"I’m just saying, if we need it, I can do it," Willow said quietly. Buffy looked at her best friend and nodded sharply.

"Good. Hopefully we won’t need it," she replied. Willow nodded and Xander uncrossed his arms, then recrossed them.

"There’s just one thing," Willow said, frowning suddenly.

"Yes?" Buffy asked.

"Well last time I did it, something happened. I was possessed or whatever. That’s why it worked. I can do it in English, but I don’t know if it will work. We kind of need someone that speaks the language," Willow said nervously.

"What language?" Jewel asked suddenly. They all turned to her, surprised. It was obvious they’d kind of forgotten she was there.

"Rumanian or Latin," Willow answered, obviously wondering why. Jewel smiled brightly.

"Then you’re in luck!" she said cheerfully.

"Why?" Buffy asked. Her grin widened.

"Cause I speak both!"

It took a while for the furor over that to die down. They all began demanding at once how she knew the languages and who was she anyway? Jewel sighed and tried to explain.

"I’m good at languages," she said simply when it quieted down a bit.

"You speak Rumanian?" Buffy demanded.

"Okay, I’m really good at languages. And I like them. It’s like, a talent. It’s kind of a freaky talent actually. I just read a few books, listen to a few tapes and I’ve got it, like that," Jewel said, snapping her fingers. "I can’t explain it, I just, I speak a lot of languages. Latin really well. Rumanian’s kinda iffy, but I could probably do it."

"Are you for real?" Xander asked. Jewel nodded.

"I swear. I think it’s from my mom’s side. Way back. The entire family can do it."

"Prove it," Xander said, as always the confrontational one. Jewel smiled and started rattling something off in something that sounded rather Japanese. Then she switched abruptly to a weird clicky-language, and then to French.

"Comment ça va?" she inquired.

"I got that one!" Buffy exclaimed. She immediately changed into something with a lot of guttural sounds, than what sounded a lot like Spanish—probably Portuguese. Finally she stopped.

"You believe me now?" she asked.

"I for one, yes!" Xander exclaimed. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"We believe you," she assured her. "If you want, I can walk you home, but we’d love if you stayed and tried to translate that curse for us. Well, I would love it anyway."

"Me too!" Willow piped in. Jewel smiled. She’d been worried about being lonely during her sojourn in Sunnydale. Didn’t look like that was a problem anymore. Though the whole vampire thing was still throwing her off…

********************

Jewel yawned and rubbed her neck absently as she tried to concentrate on the curse. Buffy had gone to find Angel and quiz him on Spike’s motives for returning, and Xander was getting magic supplies in case they needed to cast the curse in a hurry. She frowned, noticing something odd in the wording.

"Has this been edited?" Jewel asked absently. Willow looked up from her net surfing.

"I don’t think so, why?" Jewel bit her lip, reading the sentence over.

"It seems like something’s missing. This sentence…it says ‘he shall live in eternal torment, not dead nor not of the living,’ and then is stops."

"What’s wrong with that?" Oz asked, looking up from the book he was reading.

"Well nothing in English, but in Rumanian, the way the words fit together leaves a but. More like an ‘until’ actually. The verbs are conjugated in a way that always means there’s a condition. Except there isn’t one."

"There…isn’t one?" Willow asked, an odd tense note in her voice.

"Nothing?" Oz demanded–well, from him it didn’t seem especially demanding, but that was what she thought he was going for. Jewel was getting the idea that he wasn’t forceful about stuff.

"Nope," Jewel replied. "Nothing I can find anyway." She looked up from one last glance over the translated curse. "Why?"

"Do you know what this means?" Willow cried. "I mean, what is could mean?"

"We should tell Buffy," Oz said. Willow nodded excitedly. Jewel looked from one to the other, wondering if these people never explained themselves, or if that was just for her.

"Could someone please tell me what’s going on?" Jewel asked. They turned to her, remembering she was there. She sighed.

"There used to be a clause," Oz said.

"A-a happiness clause. So if An-if a vampire with the curse ever had a moment of true happiness, they’d lose their soul again." Jewel drew in a little breath, her mind racing over everything she’d heard that night.

"Poor Buffy," she breathed. Willow looked surprised–Oz didn’t. Another thing she was realizing about him. "It happened to her, didn’t it? I mean, to Angel, but she–" Jewel stopped and Willow gave a little nod. Poor Buffy.

"How did the curse get edited then?" she asked suddenly.

"It must have been Ms. Calendar," Willow said, frowning slightly.

"Ms. Calendar?"

"She was our computer teacher. She was also a Romany. She’d been sent to watch Angel, and when he turned bad, she found the curse. He killed her and we didn’t find the curse till a while later. But she must have changed it."

"That makes sense. The conjugation of the verbs doesn’t change anything, it just sounds weird to anyone who knows Rumanian. It would work just as well, there just wouldn’t be any clause. There hasn’t been since you re-cast the curse, I guess." Willow paled slightly and turned to Oz, who held her hand tightly.

"All this time," she breathed. "All this time they could have been together!" Jewel’s lips tightened. That’s why he went away. Because he couldn’t be happy. Oh God, talk about tragic love story.

"We should tell Buffy," she said. "We should find her." Willow nodded.

"Shouldn’t we tell Angel first?" Oz suggested. "It is his soul, after all." Willow bit her lip.

"You’re probably right."

"But how can we get him here?" Jewel asked. The tall, dark, handsome vampire hadn’t seemed like the type to have a beeper.

"I know a spell!" Willow exclaimed, brightening visibly. Jewel smiled despite herself at the other young woman’s enthusiasm. She watched as the red-head closed her eyes and concentrated, muttering a few words and doing some hand motions. A minute later she opened her eyes again. "He should be coming. And if Buffy found him, he’ll bring her too."

"What did you do?" Jewel asked, a small part of her doubting that anything was really happening. I mean, witchcraft? Well, okay, vampires weren’t exactly the guys next door.

"I sent him a thought. Well, actually, there’s these little air sprites that are everywhere and you can ask them to do things for you, like takes pictures to someone. Mental pictures. So I sent Angel a picture that we needed to talk to him here," Willow exclaimed. Jewel nodded, trying to picture that. Well, she’d see if it worked soon enough.

********************

She almost screamed when she looked up. Then she realized it was Angel. It was Angel, wasn’t it? She smiled nervously.

"Is Willow here?" he asked. It took Jewel a second, then she nodded hurriedly.

"In the-in the stacks," she said, waving towards the shelves of books. He nodded and started toward the stacks, but Willow must have heard, because she appeared, smiling. Oz was in the bathroom.

"Angel! You came! I mean, the spell worked!"

"You wanted to talk to me?" the vampire asked. Willow nodded nervously, losing her smile suddenly.

"Buffy didn’t find you?" she asked. Angel shook his head, his eyes darkening with something—pain maybe. His face didn’t change though.

"Was she looking?" he asked simply. Willow nodded again.

"To, um, ask you about Spike," Willow stuttered. Angel’s turn to nod.

"Right," he replied shortly. "Is that why you called?" Willow glanced at Jewel, who watched her uncertainly.

"Not exactly," Willow murmured. Jewel sighed. This was taking too long.

"Okay, basically I can speak and read Rumanian, and Willow thought if Buffy was having too much trouble with this Spike guy, she could cast the curse. The one on you. Before casting, I thought I’d translate it, and it turns out there’s no…no clause. Ms. Calendar? She took it out. And wow, ya think that was blunt enough?" Jewel asked, amazed at her own forthrightness. He didn’t say anything, for a long time.

"There is no clause?" he asked finally. "Nothing?" Willow shook her head.

"It’s okay Angel. Ms. Calendar took the clause out. You can be…happy," she replied quietly. Jewel watched, wondering what would happen, what he would do.

Buffy chose that moment to return to the library.

"Buffy—" Angel said, turning to see her.

"Angel. What are you doing here? I was looking for you!"

"I called him here," Willow said.

"We found something with the curse," Jewel put in. The blond Slayer stopped, totally still, her eyes never leaving Jewel’s face.

"What?" she asked, a world in that small word.

"The clause is gone," Angel replied before the singer could. "It’s gone." The library fell into utter silence as Buffy clutched at the door, the wall, anything to hold her up, and eventually sat down, right there, on the floor.

"Ms. Calendar took it out," Willow told her. Buffy didn’t look at her friend, or at any of them. She was in shock, major complete shock. Slowly, her now green eyes lifted, slowly going to Angel’s face, where they stopped and stayed. Two gazes locked.

Jewel wondered what it was like to love someone that much.

********************

"He’s here!" Xander cried, bursting into the library. He stopped suddenly, nearly tripping over Buffy, as everyone turned to look at him. "Whoa, Buffy, on the floor. Hey, what’s with the grim?"

"He’s here?" Buffy asked, shaking off her shock in the crisis of the moment. "Spike?"

"In town and ready to move in apparently. I thought I’d stop by and beat some info out of Willy—" Everyone but Jewel (who didn’t know who this Willy person was) gave him a look and he sighed. "Okay, I bribed him. And this time I got a receipt! But he said that Spike came in earlier and he’s planning to stay. Move back in, all that."

"Oh, this is great," Willow sighed.

"So, what’s up with the long faces? Did ya guys miss me?" Xander demanded. "Where’s Oz?"

"Right here," the musician said, coming in the other door and avoiding the still floor-bound Slayer. He saw Buffy and Angel, and looked to Willow. She nodded, indicating that they knew.

"Up," Buffy ordered, giving her hand to Xander. He grabbed it and pulled and she hopped to her feet. "We should strike soon, before he and Dru get all wacky with the fun of being on the Hellmouth once more."

"So the curse’s a-go? I got the stuff," Xander said, hoisting a plastic bag. Jewel and Willow exchanged glances. "What?"

"The clause was taken out of the curse," Jewel told him. "But that shouldn’t change whether you cast it on Spike or not."

"Right," Willow nodded. "Should we maybe have him here just in case?"

"Can you capture him?" Oz asked Buffy.

"Wait, did you say the clause was taken out?" Xander demanded, obviously not getting past that one. Jewel nodded.

"We’ll discuss this later," Buffy said tersely. "Right now, I need weapons and a place to go."

"Where would Spike be?" Willow asked. Everyone—except Jewel, who was still lacking in the history department—looked at each other and said, "Factory."

"Angel, you in?" Buffy asked lightly, going to a cabinet and unlocking it to reveal weapon-central. Jewel blinked as the Slayer tucked stakes into her clothing and grabbed a crossbow.

"You don’t want to kill him," Angel reminded her.

"I know," Buffy replied with a tiny smile. "But that doesn’t mean I can’t kill others, now does it?" He watched her impassively, but caught two stakes as she flipped them to him and hid them carefully in his clothing. She turned to Willow. "Get set up. We’ll be back." The wicca-in-training nodded, a worried look in her eyes and moments later Buffy and Angel were gone. Jewel sighed and turned to Willow for directions.

********************

"Buffy, maybe we should talk," Angel said as they walked through the dark streets.

"We have a vampire to capture. Which isn’t gonna be easy," Buffy replied in a neutral voice.

"Spike can wait," he said firmly, catching her arm. She shook him off, a pulse of pain and doubt and hope shooting through her at the touch.

"No, he can’t. Well, maybe he can and I’m the last one to put Spike on my priority list, but we need a long talk and however long he can wait, it isn’t that long. So let’s just go." She didn’t dare look at him to see his response and he didn’t say anything. Oh God, the curse was permanent.

Visions ran through her mind, sensations engulfed her, trying to drag her into memories, into that night. She couldn’t let that happen. She had to be strong. She had to focus on the task at hand.

She wanted to put her arms around his neck and kiss him until all the breath was gone from her body.

His eyes bored holes into her soul. She had missed him so much, every moment, every day. And now he was back, and they could be together…except maybe they couldn’t. Except all that had changed was the curse. Except he’d hurt her so much and she couldn’t survive being hurt like that again.

Oh, but she wanted him so much.