E-MAIL: ralph8401@juno.com
SUMMARY: Buffy has spent four years as the top Slayer. Now she finds out it will have to end...
DIST/ARCHIVE: Ask first
DISCLAIMER: Buffy, and co. don't belong to me, they belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story takes place in the future. The dream sequences are in italics, as well as thoughts. This is one of my first fanfics, and I would love to hear your comments!
The next day came too fast for Buffy. She wasn't ready for the last day of her life. Not yet. Her day started off with a visit from Xander. He brought her breakfast in bed. A plate filled with scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast. A steaming bowl of oatmeal. Another plate with a stack of fluffy chocolate chip pancakes. A refreshing glass of milk and another of orange juice. A vase filled with fresh flowers.
Buffy smiled up at him with appreciation as he set the tray in her lap. The food looked appetizing, but Buffy honestly didn't know how she would eat everything. Even thought her death was destined, she was still sick.
Xander watched her expectantly. "Go on. Take a bite," he encouraged her. "I made it myself. Your mom was so nice to lend me the kitchen."
"Thanks." Buffy picked up a fork and dug into the scrambled eggs. Taking a big bite, she chewed slowly. The eggs were warm and tasty, but they had too much cheese in them. The cheese turned her stomach. She had forgotten how much Xander loved cheese. Buffy smiled sweetly and swallowed. "Mmmm. It's good, Xander. Really. So, you made all of this? How long have you been up?"
Xander was embarrassed. "Well, I drove to the grocery store around five, got to your place around six, took a nap a few minutes later, woke up around seven, and I've been cooking breakfast ever since," he admitted. "So, what wacky fun are we going to have today?"
"I have to talk to you, Xander," remarked Buffy. She placed her fork on the tray and patted the spot next to her on the bed.
Xander sat down next to her, his expression turning serious.
"Um, Xander, I talked with Giles yesterday. He, uh, he said that I was going to...going to...going to die today."
"Buffy..."
Buffy held up her hand to silence him. "And I know we have been through a lot together. We've battled a lot of evil. You've brought me back from the dead. I know sometimes out relationship gets tough, but it's special, and I just want to say how much...how much I'm going to miss you." Buffy couldn't help but break down a bit.
Xander wrapped his arm around her. "Buffy, don't talk like that," he scolded gently. Xander searched his heart for the right words, wiping tears from her cheeks.
"You're right," she stated, wiping tears from her face. "Xander...I'm probably not going to be able to say this again, but I've always -"
Suddenly, Joyce Summers appeared in the door frame.
"I've always had this monstrous craving for chocolate chip pancakes, and my, don't these look good!" she finished quickly, instantly pulling away from Xander and turning her attention back to the breakfast food. Her cheeks were a bright shade of pink.
Xander looked in the opposite direction.
Joyce Summers, oblivious to what had been going on, entered the room. She eyed the tray full of food in Buffy's lap. "Are you still feeling bad?" she questioned, resting her palm on Buffy's forehead. "Ooh! You're still hot!"
Buffy smiled weakly. "I'm fine, Mom." However, her deep breathing proved otherwise.
"I'm gonna call the doctor," Mrs. Summers informed her daughter. She began to leave the room.
Buffy shot Xander an urgent look.
"Um, wait!" Xander protested, hopping up from his seat on the bed.
Mrs. Summers turned around.
"Shouldn't we wait till tomorrow? I...uh...I hear there's some five-day sickness going around. Today could be the last day."
Buffy nodded.
Mrs. Summers was confused for a moment. She had obviously not heard about the apparent illness going around. Then again, I didn't know Buffy was the Slayer either, until she was forced to tell me. Anything is possible. "Okay," Joyce finally replied. She smiled briefly at her daughter before leaving.
Xander turned to Buffy. "So, what were you going to say?"
Buffy felt her face grow red. She lied, "Oh, nothing important."
*****
Soon, the hot California sun was shining bright overhead. The temperature reached nearly eighty degrees. Buffy decided to spend her time outside. She started by visiting Angel's old mansion.
She and Willow sat on the edge to the cliff by the mansion, overlooking the small town of Sunnydale. "How's college been?"
"Great," Willow replied, plucking a blade of grass from the ground and toying with it. "I mean, the work there is pretty hard, and for once, I'm popular..."
"But?"
"But I miss you and Xander," Willow finished. She looked far off across the nearby ocean. "The thing is, I've missed you so much the past few months, but I always knew I could come back and see you anytime. Now, I won't ever be able to see you whenever I want. How much am I going to miss you now?"
Sadness rushed up from way down deep and formed a lump in Buffy's throat. She understood her friend's pain. Maybe it would be harder for the others than for herself. She would get to live a whole new life without remembering her old one. They would always have to live with her death. "I...I don't know what to say."
"Are you glad you get to live a new life?" Willow questioned.
"I don't know. It's really weird...thinking of me without you guys. Me without slaying. It's strange." She shivered slightly, despite the heat. "Are you going to be okay?"
Willow nodded and stated, "I'll manage."
"Will, I know today is gonna be tough for all of us," Buffy commented. She looked over at her friend. She was suddenly overcome with emotion. "I'm gonna miss you."
Willow looked over at her friend sadly. "Me, too, Buffy. You're my best friend."
Buffy and Willow hugged each other. Buffy briefly wondered what life would be like without Willow. It didn't seem right.
*****
Soon, the sun was hanging low over the tree line. Buffy, Giles, Xander, Willow, and her mom gathered around the dining room table. Her mother had cooked ham, mashed potatoes, and homemade applesauce. It was one of Buffy's favorite meals. It would be the last meal together before Willow and Xander had to leave.
"So, honey. Do you think you'll be back in school tomorrow?" Mrs. Summers asked, slicing her ham with her fork.
Giles, Willow, and Xander all turned their attention to their food, but they sent Buffy some inquiring looks.
Buffy cleared her throat slightly. "I guess," she mumbled.
"Good. I have to tell you that I hated to see you so down lately. I must say, though, you have wonderful friends. I mean, Willow, Xander, you guys have been so great to fly in from college just to care for Buffy. You would think she was dying with the treatment she got from you!"
The comment was meant to be a joke, but it only made the level of comfort drop. The rest of the dinner was carried on with uneasiness. Mrs. Summers carried most of the conversation, not noticing that no one else seemed to be saying much.
"Um, Xander, can you help me with dessert?" Buffy asked, as she carried empty dinner plates into the kitchen. Everyone had eaten a generous helping of the food her mom had made.
Xander nodded and got up from his seat. He followed her into the kitchen.
Buffy pulled a chocolate cake out of the refrigerator. She set in on the counter. Taking out a knife, Buffy started to cut it into slivers of chocolatey goodness.
"So, what did you need my help for?" Xander questioned as he watched her easily slice the cake.
"Nothing," Buffy replied, her focus on the cake. She finally set the knife down and looked at Xander. "About what I was going to say earlier...it wasn't 'nothing.' Xander, I can't die without telling you that I -"
This time, Willow appeared in the door frame. She grinned sweetly. "Hey, guys. I thought you could use some help."
Buffy smiled, though the frustration was building up inside of her. She had to tell Xander. She couldn't die without telling him because it was so important. "I'm almost done."
A few minutes later, the three returned to the dining room.
*****
Joyce Summers didn't get a chance to corner Buffy until later that night. Buffy was climbing into bed, ready to spend another night in front of the television.
"Buffy," Mrs. Summers declared after knocking softly on the door. Her expression was fixed on her face. She walked over to her daughter and sat down next to her on the bed. "Buffy, I want an honest answer from you."
Buffy looked at her mom with surprise. "Okay."
"What is going on? Why did your friends suddenly drop everything to fly to Sunnydale? Why are they waiting on you hand and foot? Why do you always have tears in your eyes? Why did I carry on a conversation with myself? And why do I have the feeling I don't want to know the answer? Buffy, whatever it is, I know it's not because you're sick."
Buffy sighed inwardly. It was finally time for the inevitable part. She knew her mom wouldn't accept it at first, but when she finally did, it would weaken her heart terribly. "Mom, I know there's a lot I've kept from you. Me being a Slayer and all that. Well, there's something about being a Slayer. Once I've been a Slayer for four years...which I have...something happens."
"Buffy, whatever it is, you can tell me."
"Mom...I'm dying," Buffy managed to finally get out. She watched her mother's face fall. It was the most disheartening thing she had ever seen in her life. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew it would only make this worse. I'm dying tonight, Mom." Tears were now beginning to trickle down her cheeks. God, I've cried so much lately.
"Dying? You?" Mrs. Summers couldn't help but sob like an infant. Her only daughter...the only person she had left in the world...would die that very night.
Suddenly, there was a little knock on the door. It was barely audible, but Buffy's sharp hearing picked it up. "Come in."
Willow, Angel, Xander, and Giles appeared in the doorway. They all looked embarrassed. "Are we interrupting?" Angel asked, sauntering over to Buffy's side.
Mrs. Summers quickly dried her tears. "I'm going to call your father." She got up and left the room, her sobs echoing down the hall.
"Is your mother all right?" Angel asked.
Buffy shrugged. "She's dealing with the pain by making herself busy. How are you?"
Angel took her in his arms and looked down at her. "Dealing."
"Will you look for me when I come back?"
"I won't stop until I find you."
"I won't forget you," Buffy stated, her voice capturing the overwhelming sadness. They both leaned in for one last gentle kiss. Buffy poured all her emotion into it. She wished the kiss would last forever, for it felt so safe, guarding her from the events which were to come. "I love you, Angel."
There was no hesitation in his reply. "I love you." He walked over to the window and stood next to Giles.
Willow was the next one at Buffy's side. She smiled sheepishly at her friend. "I don't know what to say to you that I haven't said," she confessed. "I mean, you're my best friend. I don't want you to go. I'm gonna miss you, Buffy."
Buffy hugged her friend tightly. "I'm gonna miss you, too, Will. Don't forget me." As Willow pulled away, Buffy wondered how she could manage a life without Willow. It seemed dark and uninviting.
Next, it was Giles' turn. He walked over to her. "I have to side with Willow. I have no idea what to say. You have been the best Slayer I have ever known. You've given me moments of real pride, Buffy. I'm sorry if I bored you with all those tiresome lectures."
"They were for the best, Giles. They made me who I am." Buffy wrapped her arms around him. "I'm gonna miss you. You were the best Watcher."
Next came Xander. "What can I say? I'm gonna miss you, Buff."
Buffy pulled him close. As she hugged him, she whispered in his ear, "I love you, Xander." With that, she hugged him even tighter. At least he finally got to find out...
Xander returned her hug with all his might. He couldn't imagine life without Buffy. He pulled away, smiling at her to hide the feelings of despair, as he joined the group.
Suddenly, there came another knock from the door. Faith was standing there. Noticing everyone's stares, she turned her attention to Buffy. "I know I'm not welcome here, but I heard what was happening. I wanted to say goodbye to the infamous B."
Buffy smiled sweetly at her. She envied Faith, despite all the other Slayer had been through. Faith had another three years till this happened to her.
Faith strolled over. She smiled sadly at the fellow Slayer. For a moment, they shared a brief time of silence. Faith understood what Buffy was going through, and Buffy understood what Faith was going through. There stood a mutual understanding between them. "Don't forget me, okay?" Faith asked finally.
"I won't." While there was no hug shared, both girls had been left with the same effect as they would have had if they had hugged.
Mrs. Summers entered at that moment. "I couldn't get a hold of your father. They said he was out of town. I'm sorry he couldn't be here, honey."
"That's all right." Buffy felt her heart thud heavily in her chest. She was dying, and she wouldn't get to even say good-bye to her own dad.
"Some else is, though," Mrs. Summers continued. She moved aside a bit to reveal...
Cordelia! The girl looked uncomfortable. She smiled sheepishly, unsure of herself. "Well, I sorta got wind from one my friend that is in your psych class. Then, Xander called for, like, the BILLIONTH time, and here I am." The beautiful young adult looked around at all the grim faces. "Wait a minute. Am I missing something? I thought you were just REALLY sick."
"I'm...dying." Buffy couldn't get over th shock of seeing Cordelia, but she was touched by the girl's gesture. Cordelia was in a modeling-acting career close to Sunnydale. She had never reconciled with the group, and they hadn't said anything to her, so it was a surprise for her to show up.
"Oh. Well, I guess I can scrap the 'Get Well' cards." She rolled her eyes.
Buffy smiled warm-heartedly at her. She then turned to the rest of the group. "Wow, I've got quite a fan club going here," she commented, hinting slightly. She was growing tired, and she didn't like the fact that everyone's eyes were on her. It was extremely nerving.
The group took the hint and left. Everyone except her mother.
Buffy climbed into bed. She felt tears well up in her eyes, not just from sadness, but from fatigue. "I'm so tired!" she yawned.
"Then go to sleep." Joyce Summers stroked her daughter's forehead gently.
"Can't go to sleep," Buffy whispered, feeling herself drift off. "Can't go to sleep. Can't go to sleep."
Just then, somebody burst through the door.
"Dad!" Buffy exclaimed gleefully, suddenly wide awake. She sat up in bed. "Dad! What are you doing here? Mom said you were out of town!"
"I am. I'm here! Well, surprisingly, the, um, the librarian of your old high school called me and told me my little girl was dying," he explained, bending over and hugging her. "I had to be there when my only daughter died."
Buffy felt herself weep as she was enveloped in his powerful arms.
"God, I'm going to miss you," he whispered. He pulled away from her and looked her over and over. "Buffy, I know I haven't been the best father in the world. I hope you will forgive me."
Buffy nodded, unable to speak.
"You know, I was always looking forward to the day when I walked my little girl down the isle. I never thought I'd see the day she died."
*****
Xander paced back and forth outside Buffy's bedroom door. He was covered with a cold sweat, and his heart raced at a pace he was sure was too fast. He wanted to be there when Buffy died, but maybe it was better for her that she be with just her family. He didn't know if he could actually handle watching her die.
Willow was curled up in a ball next to Buffy's bedroom door, her arms wrapped around her knees, pulling them close to her chest. She rested her head in her hands. Tears had welled up in her eyes, threatening to fall when the appropriate time came. It seemed as if she was in a daze.
Giles was sitting in a chair he had brought out from one of the bedrooms. He was in deep thought. His only Slayer was dying. Over the past four years, they had grown so close. He couldn't bare to lose her. She was so strong.
Angel leaned his back against the wall on the other side of Buffy's bedroom door. Even though Angel was a vampire, it was obvious that this was hard on him. He was losing the only girl he had truly loved. She had broken all the barriers to his heart, and now she was dying.
Faith and Cordelia were both leaning against the wall opposite the door, murmuring quietly. They both seemed uncomfortable with the situation. Cordelia was trying to give Faith advice on hair and makeup.
Suddenly, the bedroom door swung open. Everyone jumped up to face Mrs. Summers, knowing what was to come. Tears were flowing freely out of her eyes. Her face was pinched with grief. She couldn't find her voice for a moment, but she finally managed to form a few words. "She's...gone."
Willow's face crumpled with the news. "No!" she screeched and broke into full sobs.
Xander allowed her to fall against his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around her. Tears trickled down his cheeks, but he wasn't sobbing. He had never cried in his life. He didn't think he ever would.
Giles had his head buried in his hands, obviously crying inwardly.
Cordelia and Faith's faces went blank with shock. Cordelia choked back the rising lump in her throat, and Faith couldn't even speak.
Angel fell silent. He was upset, but he could not cry. He looked away from the group, so they would not see the tears in the corners of his eyes.
"She's gone," Mrs. Summers repeated.
*****
Buffy fell. She appeared to be falling through the center of a funnel, pink, misty winds blowing around her. She tried to call out, but suddenly, a peace came over her. All the years of her life flashed in front of her. She saw herself as a little girl and then a teenager. Just when Buffy thought she would fall forever, she hit the bottom, and the world went black.
